Art of listening ! ~ பேசுவதற்கு சுவற்றில் முட்டிக்கலாம் !?!?

 

Everyone of us love to speak ! - Have you ever been in a situation when you are speaking to someone but even before you are done, that person has already cut you in between and are now talking about something else altogether? Whether in a professional setting or personal life, dealing with people who can't seem to listen can be extremely  frustrating.  

Before blaming others, first one  should work on their own communication skills, ensuring that it is not replete with advice, it is not overtly repetitive, it is not harsh, it is not bitter and it is not belittling the other person.  Mistakes do happen and we can easily spot the mistake after the occurrence, blame game takes us nowhere !! 

உங்கள் வீட்டில் உங்கள் குடும்பத்தினர் அனைவரும் ஒரு நாளைக்கு ஒரு தடைவையாவது - அருகருகே உட்கார்ந்து மனம் விட்டு பேசுவார்களா !  உங்கள் மனைவி / அல்லது கணவர் - உன்னோடு பேசுவதற்கு சுவற்றில் முட்டிக்கலாம் என்று வெறுப்பாக கூறியது உண்டா !!  உண்மையெனில், இது நல்ல சூழ்நிலையல்ல !

 

 

Every day we hear words coming out of people’s mouths. However, listening to those words is different than just hearing them. Oxford English dictionary,  suggests that the word “hear” is defined as “perceive with the ear the sound made by (someone or something),” whereas the word “listen” is defined as “make an effort to hear something; be alert and ready to hear something.” “Listening is hard work,” – it requires  concentration, attentiveness,  effort and self-restraint.” 

Listening is one of the most important skills everyone should develop. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with other people. 

Feeling ignored can be downright painful. The “still face experiment” shows that babies become overwhelmed when their attempts to connect with their parents or people around  are ignored, and the same pattern continues when we are adults. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling distressed when ignored by others. 

In our youth, we were dismissive of elder’s opinion especially when they advised us to be cautious on road, or doing anything else.  That sounded irritating !!  As we grew up, we experienced that in workplace, Seniors were often rude and kept on instructing ! they did not give enough room to learn. Not all get good bosses !!  -  also not listening could be attributed to    the misplaced confidence of youth and attitude of arrogance, pride, defensiveness, or an unwillingness to admit to mistakes. 

Life is simple, do not be too tempted to offer advices when not sought – however, listening well is a skill that we must develop.   Good listening will improve relationships and make you more effective at work. "Active listening" is one way to listen better, by making a conscious effort to engage fully with what someone's saying, and to understand what they really mean.  Always show by body language that you are listening, provide feedback, defer judgements and respond appropriately.    

It’s easy to feel hurt when someone ignores you, but remember,  there is usually a bigger picture you could be missing. Once you feel you’re avoided by someone, never disturb them again! Avoid people who have no respect for you and make you feel uncomfortable, No one should spend one minute with someone who makes you walk on eggshells.   

Today it is Good Evening message with a picture of a Parrot seeming to hit a wooden block on its way !!  Thoughts of simple thinker – aasami sirippu sinthanaiyaan.

 
With regards – S Sampathkumar
5.9.2024