friendship ~ நட்பிற்கு வீற்றிருக்கை

 

Long long ago !  - in mid 1970s – I studied in Hindu High School – in every class room there were 60 odd students – though everyone was known by name, there was closer  friendship with some.  

Those were the days, when we walked together with some to school, sat with 4 others in a bench – went home for lunch and returned with the same set of friends ! –  in the evening when we played too, there was a small group with whom we generally maintained friendship !!  

Do friendships form as a consequence of this proscribed proximity? Now some researches do state  more “acquaintanceships” with those assigned to adjacent seats than with those who sat  farther away.  In DG Vaishnav college, seats were assigned based on Roll no. !! – still there are some of us who could  make new friends wherever we go.  Well, before you count on every friend you have, you must know who your true friends are. By showing kindness, mutual trust  and understanding, one can gain friends who bring joy and help in times of need. 

The ideals of friendship, the things that give it value area often hard to describe. It need not be  based on of what someone gains – counsels, support or favours. The benefits of friendship transcends favours and gives individuals the opportunity to show their inner self without fear of judgment. 

When we grew up and attended Training sessions and Seminars in Office – still could observe that people tended to huddle together with known people, may be of geographic region or cadre.  Not many could make friendship by starting a friendly conversation.   If longitudinal analyses reveal that classroom seating proximity was associated with the formation of new friendships, one should make friends with the person sitting next in a training session too.   

The problem is as people grow, their egos expand – in school days, acceptance comes naturally but as one ages, lot of other things get into the analysis of becoming closer !!!

Here is a Thirukkural of the famous Saint Thiruvalluvar who devoted an entire athikaram for ‘friendship’

 

நட்பிற்கு வீற்றிருக்கை யாதெனின் கொட்பின்றி

ஒல்லும்வாய் ஊன்றும் நிலை.

‘நட்பு என்பது நிலையாகத் தங்கியிருக்கும் இடம் யாது?’ என்றால், மனவேறுபாடு இல்லாமல், முடிந்த இடமெல்லாம், இணைந்து நின்று காத்து பேணும் நிலையாகும்

 
Regards – S Sampathkumar
3.1.2025